As the final bell rung on the KASDAQ today, Kirkland stock markets are in turmoil. Retail giant Infinimart has officially declared bankruptcy today. This was no surprise to stock market experts, however. “Infinimart Corporation should have gone under a long time ago” says financial expert Jenny Tals, “Infinimart had trouble sourcing product to sell. This, along with its ridiculously low prices caused items to fly off the shelves as soon as they were stocked. Often shoppers would find most items out of stock, leading to a downfall in consumer trust.” Notably, Infinimart and all it’s subsidiaries shut down for company-wide reconstruction nine months ago, with no other news since.

However, many Infinimart properties have been acquired by a privately-traded company known as STB LLC. Teku Tower is one such example. According to a spokesperson from STB, “Teku Tower is a fine piece of architecture in a critical spot of the commercial district. We plan on this location being the centerpiece of all future financial endeavors.” No further comment was given. Other properties acquired include:

Multiple brand names including Infinimart, Hugh Neutrons, and Storm’s Spruce Shop

Infinimart factory

Storm’s Public Library

The Ice Bucket Challenge

All Infinimart Capital

Meanwhile, the Bank of Storm has split and become its own separate entity. As the original flagship location, which is now vacant, had previously been used as collateral, the Bank of Storm has acquired it.

The future of Infinimart is unknown, however its effect on the economy is. “My retirement was all in Infinimart stock” says 69 year old Kim Lydia, “Now I’ll be working until I’m dead!”.

Storm himself was questioned, but he declined comment. According to our sources, Storm has been spending more time on the development his new multimillion dollar home than his businesses. It has been speculated that declaring bankruptcy was part of a clever way for Storm to rid himself of his debts, unfortunately sacrificing many people’s securities in the process.

🚨NEW LISTING ALERT🚨

Storm_the_beast Realty Co has a new listing

Location:

2058,64,-5438 on the outskirts of Turnip Town nearby the jungle portal

Basic house info:

32x21x33, 3.5 above ground floors, 2 sub ground floors

Located close to the Jungle portal, just on the edge of the central district of Turnip Town, this comfortable, rustic mansion is one of a kind. With an old world design and an open concept floor plan, this home is sure to charm anyone who visits it. With a unique view of one of the most exotic settlements in the land, anyone seeking a breathtaking view will be thrilled by this amazing opportunity. Meticulously maintained in the original condition, this house is ready to move in with lots of unique decor. Built with high ceilings and large open rooms, this dwelling offers plenty of opportunity to create and customize to your liking. Furnishings include an adequately sized item sorter and 4 industrial sized super smelters.

If you are interested in this property, contact the realtor Storm_the_beast. Seller is flexible and ready to move.

(Storm_the_beast is not responsible for any aviation disasters and/or national tragedies caused by large fixed wing aircraft colliding with the structure. Buy at your own risk)

This paper is sponsored, funded, and owned by STB llc. (Formerly Infinimart.)