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The Ice Bucket Challenge - Vol. 2 Iss. 2

by Storm_the_beast

Tuesday, July 9, 2024 at 04:44:31 PDT

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Tadog under fire for allegedly PvPing with an underaged girl

Tadog21, known on the server as one of the admins and an alleged communist, is currently under fire for allegedly meeting up with an underaged girl to PvP. The situation was brought to light by Dusk, renowned capitalist and frog.


The picture above was posted on his Instafrog page, and appears to depict Tadog in communist garb meeting with an underaged girl. According to local chief of police, Al DePantzeus, a full investigation has been launched. “This girl is too young to be wielding a sword”, says DePantzeus, “To PvP at such a young age can be dangerous due to lack of experience. If you don’t know what you’re doing you can easily lose a limb, or worse.”

According to DePantzeus, the Spawn Lake Island Resort is a point of interest in the investigation. According to flight logs, multiple underaged players were brought to the resort since its construction finished in October of 2023. “The secluded location of the island provided a blind spot from the public eye, allowing Tadog’s ungodly behavior to continue unchecked”, elaborated DePantzeus, “Sadly this caused an oversight in our system. I’m ashamed we let this depraved behavior slip through the cracks.”

However, miners were not the only ones who payed a visit. The flight logs also listed multiple powerful people, including Kirk, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Stephen Hawking. Could they possibly be wrapped up in this scandal too?

As of the time of writing, Tadog and his offices have both declined comment. Many have called for him to step down as head of the Tadog Corporation, however their cries currently remain unheard.

Alleged Communist Propaganda, The Tadog Daily Piper, purchases industrial sized washing machine to spin the news.

As pictured above, in the basement of Tadog Mercantile sits a large, industrial-sized washing machine. One of our reporters, Robyn DeCradle, managed to speak with an anonymous insider from the Piper. "We load the facts of an issue into the machine, set it to 'spin cycle', and within an hour pops out a nearly unrecognizable version of the news that fits with Tadog's agenda."

When asked about the brand of laundry detergent used, DeCradle discovered Tadog exclusively uses "Red Scourge" in his washing machine. Allegedly, the detergent turns everything in the wash cycle red.

It is currently unknown if an industrial-sized dryer is also present.

This paper is sponsored, funded, and owned by STB llc.

Comments


July 9, 2024

DUSKINSIDER wrote...

Unbelievable, my own coworker pvping inexperienced kids!! How dangerous!!

July 9, 2024

Storm_the_beast wrote...

This is horrible! Clearly behavior of a Communist! Tadog should step down as head of the Tadog Corporation!

If you were logged in, there would be a comment submission form here.
Creating an account is easy. You literally just type in a name and a password.
I don't want your email address, so there won't be any links in any emails to click.

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