Tadog Daily Piper - No. 14

by Tadog Daily Piper

Wednesday, October 11, 2023 at 02:45:03 PDT

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Kirk & Kirk and Golden Carrot, Inc. Drug Empire Uncovered

After the publication of the Daily Piper article on the Octamall homeless, a lot of attention was brought to the camp. According to Kirk’s Gossip, the Octamall had soon announced a 12-step plan to remove the homeless. However, nearly one week has passed and no progress has been made. During an investigation by local homeless resident Fire_fairy, nearly 20 stacks of drugs were discovered. According to Fire_fairy, this was brought to the server police, however the police did not respond as they were blocked by the Octamall security guards, and did not possess a warrant. With the police out of the game, Fire_fairy knew only the Tadog Daily Piper would report on this story.

After being brought to the Piper’s attention, an immediate investigation was launched by the Piper team, lead by our very own Maya Achinbals. After an undercover entry into the camp, Maya found multitudes of stacks of drugs littered throughout the camp. It was clear that these homeless were not leaving, due to the plentiful supply of drugs. Someone was supplying drugs to the homeless, right under the Octamall’s nose. Whole touring the camp, Maya had found the source, and with her undercover camera, took a photo.

Shown to the left, it appeared someone was throwing drugs within the camp. Identified as Soulteralt, this person had clearly turned their mind to swiss cheese from excessive drug use and was throwing drugs at a turtle. After some investigative work by Maya, it did not appear that this person was the supplier, but rather the mule that moved the drugs. To help find the drug supplier, Maya dressed herself as a local homeless, and moved into Fire_fairy’s tent for the next few days. According to Fire_fairy, there was a routine within the camp that seemed to bring in the drugs. According to maya, she had to wait for a few days for this cycle to occur, and witnessed Soultersalt abusing the local wildlife, however Soultersalt is considered a tough member of the camp, and was not one to be confronted.

After the third night, Maya noticed the Octamall guards both went on break at the same time, so the doors to the mall and the stairway to the homeless camp were completely unguarded. In the middle of the night, Maya heard footsteps, and she followed them. An unidentified man walked out of the homeless camp, and up into the mall. From there, he went straight to the Kirk & Kirk vaccine clinic. Following quietly behind, Maya witnessed him go to the Biohazard waste, and start mixing it around with a large stick. Still confused, Maya readied her camera. With complete and utter shock, the unidentified man reached into the bin, and pulled out a large pile of white powder.

Shown to the left, Maya snapped a picture of this action, as it was clear something illegal was happening. After the unidentified man grabbed all the white powder, he then took the Biohazard Waste Bin and dumped the rest of the contents into the Kirk & Kirk pipeline to be dumped into Spawn Lake. left, Maya grabbed some of the unidentified powder, and immediately returned to the Piper headquarters.

The white powder from the bin, and a sample of the drugs found at the camp were sent to the Ur Mom University chemistry lab, and it was discovered these were an exact chemical match. It was then concluded that the drugs found in the homeless camp, were coming from the biohazard waste of the Kirk & Kirk Vaccine clinic. This is believed to be an inside job, as the guards just happened to leave the area at the same time every three days, and the Vaccine Clinic as left unlocked. After these findings, an interview request was sent to both Kirk and Octapoo. While Kirk did not reply to our request for an interview, Octapoo replied via email, “We at the Octamall are not aware of these matters, nor are responsible. The guards out front are not paid by the Octamall, and the Vaccine Clinic is not managed by us.” However, a request for proof of this was not met.

After further investigation into the camp, it was discovered that Soulteralt was listed as an employee by the Golden Carrot, Inc. According to Soulter, aka. TimTo3, Soultersalt is a slave of the Golden Carrot, Inc. Further investigation into the legality of this slave and work trade was mysteriously blocked by the Kirk & Kirk lawyer team. It is believed that the Kirk & Kirk and Golden Carrot, Inc companies have been running an illegal drug empire for the past year and a half. A request for investigation to the Server Bureau of Investigation, the SBI, but the case is still pending.


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