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Tadog Daily Piper - No. 12

by Tadog Daily Piper

Thursday, October 5, 2023 at 21:45:47 PDT

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Octamall Gets Makeover, Ignoring the Growing Homeless Camp & The Truth Behind the Illegal Kirk & Kirk Pipeline

As reported on almost two years ago, the Downtown has been experiencing an influx of homeless people coming from almost all corners of the map. For many years, the downtown had been the main spawn for the server, and was the main location most people would hangout at. Overtime however, the Downtown became too crowded and laggy. A new spawn was built to accommodate the influx of players, as well as to help provide more direction for people who did not have their own home. This new spawn helped to alleviate much of the homeless population, and lifted them back to playing. Some of the homeless population, however, did not want help, and chose to continue their illegal camp outside the Octamall. Instead of addressing the growing visual eyesore and safety plaguing the Octamall, the owner had instead invested in a reconstruction project to bring back more business.


Octapoo, the owner of the Octamall and lead chair of the Aquaspawn City Council, has been turning a blind eye to the homeless camp outside his mall for nearly 2 years. Jack Koff, a local resident who lives in the downtown, told the Tadog Daily Piper that he used to be a regular shopper at the mall in an exclusive interview with Maya Achinbals.

“I used to shop there all the time,” Jack told Maya, “Octapoo’s shop was always difficult to use because the IOUs were out of stock, but the availability of the other shops made the mall my favorite location.” The appearance of the homeless camps quickly changed the Octamall experience. “When I would be in the store, frequently homeless people would come through the store and harass people,” Jack explained, “even leaving the mall was unsafe, the camps were right next to the front door, and I would be yelled at by the campers, and constantly had to stop over poop.” The homeless camp has also been accused as a large factor in the destruction of the local marine life. According to the Biome Protection Agency, BPA, pollution in spawn lake increased by nearly 37% since the appearance of the homeless camp, and another 29% with the addition of the Kirk & Kirk pipeline.

Octapoo has been accused of attempting to remove the homeless through inhumane acts. Approximately 4 months ago, bamboo was found to have been planted along the shores of the Octamall very tightly together. However, it has only been planted on one side of the Octamall, the same side as the homeless camp. The tightly packed bamboo is nearly impossible to pass through, and it completely encloses the homeless camp, making the only way out of the camp through the Octamall staircase, which is now heavily guarded. Octapoo has been accused of intentionally starving out the homeless camp, as there is no way for them to get out. “If they were smart, they would eat the turtles that keep wandering to the camps.” One guard said when confronted by a Tadog Daily Piper reporter. “At least they can’t get drugs into the camp anymore,” he said. The Tadog Daily Piper staff was escorted off Octamall property when they attempted to hold an interview with one of the local homeless.

The Truth of the Kirk & Kirk Pipeline

With the camp not getting better, it seemed coincidental, and beneficial above all, that the illegal dumping from the Kirk & Kirk pipeline forced the homeless to leave that area due to the pollution. However, it does appear too good to be true. After the Piper staff was escorted off Octamall property, an anonymous email was sent to Maya Achinbals, requesting a private interview. This person turned out to be a current Kirk & Kirk employee, and had some interesting information to share with us.

“Don’t you think it was convenient that the pipeline helped to remove the homeless, despite it being on Octamall property?” He stated. According to the whistleblower, a few weeks before the pipeline was built, a private meeting between Kirk and Octapoo was held in the vaccine clinic, where the whistleblower was finishing up paperwork for the evening. “I did not listen carefully in the beginning, as they were just talking about the cost of the vaccine clinic waste disposal. But soon thereafter, Octapoo got very quiet as if he was trying to make sure no one could hear them,” the whistleblower said. He recalls overhearing them talking about the homeless camp, and how their pollution and presence was giving the Octamall a bad name. “That’s when I overheard Octapoo asking Kirk to redivert the waste pipeline to come out of the wall instead of to the sewer system. I heard Kirk reply, ‘Isn’t that illegal though?’ To which Octapoo replied, ‘well technically yes, but it’s on my property, and I’m the head of the Aquaspawn city council, so I can just cover myself.’ Octapoo told Kirk that this would help to mask the pollution of the homeless camp and get rid of them faster, and it would help Kirk because then he didn’t have to pay for sewage. ‘It’s a win-win’ I heard Octapoo say.”

Recent Kirk & Kirk tax forms show that his rent for the Octamall had gone down more than half. It is believed that Octapoo did this in exchange for accepting responsibility for the pipeline. In our initial report on 3/28/2022, Kirk had accepted responsibility for the pipeline. It is believed Octapoo bribed Kirk to put in this illegal pipeline and take responsibility for it. While none of these claims have been proved, a poll shows that 89% of the public agree with this theory. Both Kirk and Octapoo denied our request for an interview.

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